My Heart is Aching

With the recent announcement today from the US Embassy that only families with referrals by Sept 1 will be allowed to complete their adoptions my heart is aching. My heart is aching for the faithful families that have been waiting for their referrals. I am not sure at this point that we will have our referral by then and I simply don't know what God is trying to tell me. Is this another test of faith and trust in Him? He has never led us down another avenue, He has always given me peace with this Vietnam journey. I know that should we ever receive this child, it will be to God's glory that she comes to us. I feel exhausted with all the tears I have shed this morning. A zillion thoughts going through my mind. How could we stayed on this path so long for us not to reach the end? I am always the positive encourager, I am told, and I know that right now I am not being very encouraging. Our agency has stated that this is not the information that they were told and they are trying to find out what exactly is going on. They have also said that the president of Vietnam is scheduled to come to the US in June and one topic is the adoption arena.

But here is a question from another statment made today. The US Embassy stated that they will only allow dossiers to be submitted until July 1. But why would they even continue to process dossiers if they plan on canceling out all dossiers not matched by Sept 1 and returning them to the agencies after that time. It just doesn't make sense. There is no way with all the current logged in dossiers (like ours that has been there since June of last year) that these dossiers would even be matched with a child, unless of course, it is for a waiting child. I just don't understand it. My mind is mush right now.

We have not gotten our regular agency update so I do not know if we received any referrals this week, but one can hope that things will be smooth even up to Aug. 31 if this statement is true. Our adoption options are limited, so I really hope that God's plan for us is to find Kaylee in Vietnam before Sept. 1.