What was I saying about those valleys?

My heart is heavy today. No new referrals, again. I simply cannot believe that God would lead us down this road, and be so close , and then leave us in the wind. That is NOT my God. I know that Vietnam is the only option for us, and without this adoption I may never be a mommy. My head is swimming with what ifs, my mind is telling me to be patient and trust God, my heart is already in love with this little baby. All of you in the Vietnam program are aware of the concerns right now and we have to just pray that God will work a miracle for our babies to come home. My heart really goes out to all the families that are waiting to do their dossiers. The road is going to be long. My road has been long. We started this process 25 months ago, and now have been on the waiting list for 19 months. But I do hold on the words of a new friend that told me she waited 30 months for her sweet daughter, and had she not waited that exact amount of days, she would not know her precious daughter.

There are 7 families though, that will be traveling to pick up their treasures next week. I simply rejoice with them that their dreams are being realized. Please say a prayer for all the waiting families to have strength and courage through this time.

Oh, God, You are the Most High. You hold every star in place. I know that You are holding the hearts of all the adoptive families in Your hand tonight. Please bring us peace, Lord, that our beautiful blessings are waiting for us, You have just chosen to slow down things right now. I know that You are in control, but, Lord, we are all weak and we need strength to endure this trying time. Please, Lord, show us Your mercy. Keep our babies safe and healthy until they are revealed to us. Thank you for Your mercies and Your grace. We love you. Amen

A Definite Roller Coaster Ride

You know, in my perception this adoption journey is very much like a roller coaster ride. There are days of definite highs and days of definite lows. There are days that I think about all the good things to come and definitely how far we have come on this ride. And then there are days that I tend to dwell on how far we have to go and sad in what is seeming like forever to meet our little girl. It is great therapy for me to share in the lives of other Vietnam and Chinese beauties that have been united with their families. These babies are the most beautiful things I have ever seen. To see their smiles, their pigtails, or their latest antics, this is good for me. I hope someday soon, our little Kaylee will do the same to future PAPs on the road to adoption. I was reading through my JTM journal and I want to share another of my favorite entries. It was written on one of those definite low days when I felt like nothing was happening. What I need to realize is God is working to bring Kaylee home and when the most perfect child for us has been chosen by Him for us, it will finally be our day.

Original post date on JTM 8/20/07-Truly I Have Spoken

"Truly I have spoken, truly I will bring it to pass. I have planned it. I will surely do it. Isaiah 46:11. How wise is our Sovereign Lord. In the midst of doubt He will speak to you. In this time of waiting I wonder is God hearing my prayer. I get on my knees and plead with the Almighty Father to reveal to us the daughter He has for us.

And then, He speaks to me, plain and simple, firm and true.

"Melanie, I have planned this adoption journey. I have spoken to your hearts and lead you in this direction. I will bring it to pass, with faith from you that I can. I promise you that I will grant you the desires of your heart. I love you and Dwayne. I knew Kaylee before I formed her in the womb and you have prayed for this child and I will surely do it. Do not be anxious in this time. Pray for Kaylee without ceasing. I will raise the valleys and lower the mountains for you when it is time. Believe in Me to take care of you. I alone stretched out the heavens, my own hand formed the earth, surely I will take care of you. I teach you what is best for you and I direct you in the way you should go. Fix your eyes on me and I will give you refuge. I will protect your heart. I will give you the strength to endure what is before you. You have asked and you shall receive."

Thank you Lord, for the blessing of this adoption. You know the exact precise moment in which our daughter will be revealed to us. You are the giver of life. Thank you for loving us with all our imperfections and for forgiving us when we fail you. As you have placed each star in the sky and given each one a name, so shall you place Kaylee in our arms and give her a forever family. You breathe life into every living being and every living being has a planned destiny by Your divine appointing. I know that you will give us our Kaylee, I do trust You to bring her to us, because I know you provide for the smallest living creature- Why would I doubt that you will provide for us. Thank you for your graciousness. You are my Savior. You are my King. You have blessed me beyond measure and I know Kaylee will be the most beautiful prize at the end of the journey. Although I often wonder why we wait, it is Your plan for us to wait. You are all-knowing and faith in You will lead us down the road to our Kaylee. Please touch her heart wherever she is and let her know that she is not an orphan, for she is our chosen child. Your blessings overflow my life. You are glorious and marvelous. Amen