You can't see the forrest for the trees

A couple of weeks ago I attended a school play for the son of some very dear friends of ours. The play was about these individual trees in the forrest that each had their own plans for what they wanted to be. It turned out that God had his own plans for each of the trees. One was the boat that Jesus fished out of, one was the manger He was laid in, and one was the cross that He died on. The trees were just ready to leave the forest. God already knew what He wanted to use the trees for, but He allowed the trees to follow their own direction until He was ready to make them what He wanted.

I think often times God allows us to make decisions until He is ready to step in and take over. That is how it is with this adoption journey. We knew we wanted to be parents and that this was our option. There is no doubt in my mind that God pricked our hearts with the idea. Everything was moving smoothly and then lately we have really had to sit back and let God work it out. My prayers to God have probably seemed somewhat desperate. My heart has been aching. My mind has entertained the idea that this child will never reach my home. And then, I bring it back to the One who led us down this road to begin with. It is time to let Him take over. I may have said in a previous post what a friend recently said to me. That ultimately it is God bringing these children home, Vietnam and America are only the means of bringing this child home.
I promise you that I have days of doubt and many tears. We have been on this journey for so long. It almost seems like a dream. But I remain hopeful . There is news of referrals from several agencies and this makes my heart happy.
I try to use this blog as an encouragement tool for those who are reading on the same journey as we are. Some say I am too positive, but that only comes from having a faith and trust in God, my Father. He know how much we want this child, He knows the plans we have for this child, He loves me and I know He is going to honor those desires. I know that some days I am purely down to absolutely nothing and there is no other place to look but up to Him. God wants His children to need Him. I have grown closer to God in probably the past six months than I have ever gotten to Him. His ways are not our ways. Our plans are not His plans. He will provide this child to us when we are ready. This waiting we have been doing has brought Dwayne and I closer together. I know I will fall on my knees in praise come the day we do receive our referral.
This child will be a reflection of God's grace and mercy. He is preparing her just as He is preparing us.

I think if we step back just a little, we might be able to see the forrest instead of focusing on an individual tree. It is a time for us to support each other and encourage each other. We all have the same goal, to bring our children home. My prayer is for each family that is dossier ready to be allowed to complete their adoption. My prayer is for each family already referred a child to be allowed to travel very shortly to receive their blessing,(Gina and Lauren and Heather and Allison- my CHI families), my prayer for all the waiting families is for an agreement to be reached soon so that we can all breathe for awhile and once again be hopeful and know that our children are coming home. This is no easy journey, and every family has a different circumstance and desire. We will get through this. I just feel in my heart that there is hope in the future. If everyone will do their part and support each other we will find our way to our children.

I thank each and every one of you that leave me comments of well wishes for Kaylee. I feel like the whole world is waiting for her to make her appearance. I am truly honored with all the prayers that have been said on our behalf and I continue to thank God every day for everyone who wants Kaylee to come home as much as we do. I always love to know who is checking in on us. Somehow it just warms my heart.

Finally... A Breath of Fresh Air!

I sat outside this morning and prayed audibly to God, usually it is silent prayer. I asked Him to please show us mercy and hope in this very uncertain time. The sun was beaming on my face and as I felt the warmth it was as if God Himself reached down and held my face in His hands. In that moment I prayed for peace to come over me; that we would know that we would be able to adopt our daughter, the one thing I have waited all my life for. I told God that I understand that He is in control and to forgive me when I doubt His honorable intentions. I asked for comfort and a blessing or two for the next waiting families on the list to receive their referrals and things to progress, even if it was just little by little, here and there. Not much, just something to let me know that He is hearing the prayers of His children that are waiting on Him to light our path and show us that we are still on the right one. I thanked Him for my wonderful husband and for the blessings He has bestowed upon us and I told Him that I trusted Him to grant the desires of my heart.

Then I went on about my day, nothing special, not even really expecting an update that usually comes out on Thursdays. Just routinely did I decide to see what was going on in the email. And I have to say, when I saw "Vietnam Weekly Update" I was expecting no exceptional news. As this had beeen the trend for the last month. Nothing new or encouraging.
First our email from our coordinator started out with reminding us of what a truly wonderful weekend this was to be when we honor the One who died for us so many years ago to give us everlasting life. And then a very encouraging comforting message from the Vietnam director in which she stated that her prayer and belief in God is what gets her through difficult times.. that God has a bigger plan for us.. it is in His timing that everything will happen. And I love these words:"Please do not give up hope on your dreams for becoming parents or receiving this child that is meant for you." And then, guess what, there was one referral. And they are expecting an few more referral around the first of April! This is wonderful news!

My God is great and He often takes our faith and stretches it to the very limit He wants it to go. We are going to make it to our Kaylee. He hears our prayers. He WANTS to hear our prayers. No matter when, no matter what. Thank you, Lord for hearing my prayer. In You I will trust.
Hold my daughter's hand until it is time for us to meet. You are a God of wonders. You are the creator of life. You are the creator of families. I know the exact perfect child is waiting for us, now we have to wait on You.