Friday, April 25, 2008

My Heart is Aching

With the recent announcement today from the US Embassy that only families with referrals by Sept 1 will be allowed to complete their adoptions my heart is aching. My heart is aching for the faithful families that have been waiting for their referrals. I am not sure at this point that we will have our referral by then and I simply don't know what God is trying to tell me. Is this another test of faith and trust in Him? He has never led us down another avenue, He has always given me peace with this Vietnam journey. I know that should we ever receive this child, it will be to God's glory that she comes to us. I feel exhausted with all the tears I have shed this morning. A zillion thoughts going through my mind. How could we stayed on this path so long for us not to reach the end? I am always the positive encourager, I am told, and I know that right now I am not being very encouraging. Our agency has stated that this is not the information that they were told and they are trying to find out what exactly is going on. They have also said that the president of Vietnam is scheduled to come to the US in June and one topic is the adoption arena.

But here is a question from another statment made today. The US Embassy stated that they will only allow dossiers to be submitted until July 1. But why would they even continue to process dossiers if they plan on canceling out all dossiers not matched by Sept 1 and returning them to the agencies after that time. It just doesn't make sense. There is no way with all the current logged in dossiers (like ours that has been there since June of last year) that these dossiers would even be matched with a child, unless of course, it is for a waiting child. I just don't understand it. My mind is mush right now.

We have not gotten our regular agency update so I do not know if we received any referrals this week, but one can hope that things will be smooth even up to Aug. 31 if this statement is true. Our adoption options are limited, so I really hope that God's plan for us is to find Kaylee in Vietnam before Sept. 1.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh Melanie, I am crying right now and wish I could offer you some encouraging words. You are the first person I thought about this morning when I read the statements. I can't imagine how difficult this time is for you, but know that there are many of us out here rooting for you, praying daily for you and Kaylee, and keeping the faith that God will lead you to your child. We are here for you. If you ever need anything, please don't hesitate to let me know.

R&H said...

I don't even have words to explain how sorry I am to hear this not only for you but for the thousands of orphans in vietnam waiting for families. There were many doors closed when we began the adoption process, it seemed like no matter where we turned the door was slammed in our face, but when one door closes another opens.
I know you'll get through this, but I know it's very difficult.

We can only appreciate the miracle of a sunrise if we have waited in the darkness.

Your sunrise will come soon, and it will be amazing. Please keep your faith. Feel free to email me if you need someone to listen to or anything, I'll be here!

Major Mom said...

My heart hurts for you. I know how much you want your baby. Adoption is so hard and sometimes so sad. I will lift this situation up to the Lord. We had something similar happen to us. It was out of our control and hurt so bad I could literally feel it. CHI is a great agency, and I know they are doing everything they can to get your baby to you.

Ann said...

Melanie, we will wait this out, no other choice right? Hang on tight, keep busy and know that we are in this together and we have one of the best agency's to look out for us. Your July questions is interesting, maybe its to cover special need children that are in process?? Keep in touch.

Kelli said...

Praying for you. There are no words to express how difficult and emotionally draining this day has been.

Kelly said...

I am so sorry. This news is absolutely devastating. I am with you in not understanding accepting dossiers until July 1st and then only those with official referrals being accepted can complete their adoptions after Sept. 1st. That makes no sense. I am praying for everyone involoved.

Kathryn said...

I also am perplexed on why they would accept dossiers up to July 1. It just doesn't make sense for them to even waste the time to process it, if they will be sending it back in 2 months.Hang in there. Hopefully things will work out. Nicki's update does mention the president of Vietnam and a agreement between Vietnam and the U.S. I just wish we could know something soon, so we could switch countries, sooner rather than later, if need be.

The Ben Show said...

I check your blog daily. You were the first person I thought of when I saw the news today. I promise I'll be praying for you every day until you are finally matched with your sweet girl.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your struggles. My mom was an adoptive parent (40 years ago!) and ran into many obstacles back then in the new world of international adoption. Unfortunately, it doesnt look any more stable than it was at that time. Mom was also a woman of great faith and believed that with every closed door, there would be a window opened to climb through. She just needed to open her eyes to see it. It wasnt always easy- throughout her life she still thought about the children she had hoped to adopt and could not. She even remained annoyed with Mother Teresa for keeping her from adopting a child from India! Mom eventually adopted four kids and established her own agency so that she could help other families in their journeys to parenthood. Have you thought about opening up your application to a little boy? Or a child with mild special needs? Maybe it is too late to do this in your process or it doesnt feel like the right thing to do. No matter what, I know my mom is up there supporting you and all the other families trying to find their children.
Good luck and God bless