Sunday, March 30, 2008

My favorite blog of the week

I have decided I want to feature some of my favorite blogs of friends I have met on this journey. I know that without these friends, the journey would be hard. I first happened upon this blog about a year ago, and this little beauty sealed the deal, that Vietnam is where we wanted to adopt from. , This little pumpkin is no stranger to the Vietnam adoption world. Many of you feature her on your own sidebars. She is none other than Little Miss Lucy! This little girl has been such therapy for me. She is an inspiration. Her mom is a fabulous blogger, always encouraging and interesting.

{Lucy then}

{Lucy Now}

Often on a day that I am feeling down about this whole adoption process, I pop on over to see what Lucy has been up to. Then there is this sweet little face looking at me! Wow, she is simply amazing! What a beauty. I mean, seriously, it should be illegal to be so cute!

Thank you, Kelly, for sharing sweet Lucy with all of us. You do not know what therapy she is for me. I often dream of what my Kaylee will look like and then I see this vision of utter beauty and sweetness in the face of your Lucy. She is truly an awesome little girl. I just can't get enough of her! Thank you for letting me share Lucy on my page! She is a little ray of sunshine, and we all need that right now. I look forward to checking in on her to see what she is up to next, or what majorly cute outfit she has on.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Things that make me smile

In the midst of all the Vietnam uncertainty, I am promising myself to remain positive and commit our adoption journey to Kaylee and that we will find her waiting for us in Vietnam. I believe that God has chosen us for this journey and we will remain true to it until He shows His divine grace and reveals her to us.

In the meantime, I have been trying to think of happy things each day, to keep my spirits up and not down. I would like to share some of my favorite things, and what is so refreshing is that most of them are ordinary things that we don't think much about, but without them, my life would be so much less happy. So here goes.....
  • The smell of Tide and Bounce in my laundry
  • The sound of my dogs snoozing in the afternoon
  • Icecream and strawberries
  • Snuggling my cold pillow at night
  • Seeing the buttercups blooming and the birds singing
  • Watching a baby sleeping
  • The smell of homebaked bread-- yummmmm
  • An ice cold Dr. Pepper(oh, what I am going to do without it in Vietnam?)
  • Listening to children sing
  • Going to the zoo and watching all the animals play
  • Watching the sun set in the evening (I would say the sunrise, but I hardly ever see it for sleeping!)
  • Blogging with all my friends, and meeting new friends everyday
  • Driving with the window down enjoying the breeze (until you smell the skunk, and then, the window must go up!)
  • Eating hot buttery popcorn at the theatre( anyone up for a movie-- it's been a while for this one)
  • The smell of CLEAN diapers (I love walking down the diaper aisle in Target to smell the diapers! I know, just call me crazy)
  • The sound of the ocean
  • Hot chocolate with Rediwhip and sprinkles
  • Finally getting to watch a NEW episode of CSI: MIAMI
  • Surfing the blogs and seeing all the adorable Vietnam babies! ( Can't wait till I can add my own baby to that one!)
  • Kissing my husband good night
  • Getting kissed by my dachsie babies!
  • Listening to lullabies
  • Praying to God and then waiting for Him to act
  • Dreaming of my baby, soon I hope we will be able to meet her

These are just a few of may favorite things. I hope they have brought you some cheer as well. We so often take for granted all the little things in life, being distracted by the BIG things, it is so true what they say about "Stop and smell the roses"; if you miss the opportunity, you will wish you had it back. Sometimes we are so consumed in the BIG things (i.e. adoption) that we often forget to take each day as it comes and live life to its fullest everyday. Like a friend once told me, before the world of computers and blogging, life was normal- painting bedrooms and listening to music-- and then one day, the phone rang with the call- they had a referral and her life was changed forever. We often hold on to things we think we can change, instead of letting go and letting God change things. God's gifts to us are NEVER late, they are always on time. It is really hard not be child-focused in this journey, but we have to remain God-focused for what is to come. I truly believe our God to be a loving and just God who rewards the faithful with the dreams of their hearts. He has brought us this far on this journey and He will continue to direct us. We are praying for Kaylee everyday and are praying for all our Vietnam friends. He will do great things, but it is often in our quietness that He reveals His majesty, so be still and know that He is God. I am listening, Lord, I am still, I am quiet, I am yours.

(Pause my playlist) Now, click on the video, close your eyes and listen to God.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Can you believe it?

I looked at the bottom of my blog today and couldn't believe that we have been waiting 599 days for our referral! Isn't that unreal? WOW, I guess we have had a little bit of patience. I know that there are good things to come for us. We are currently 10 on our agency's waiting list, so I am hoping for a referral sometime this summer. Whatever anount of days we will have to wait still, I know that Kaylee will be the most beautiful gift in the world.

God is good and He will provide.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Finally... A Breath of Fresh Air!

I sat outside this morning and prayed audibly to God, usually it is silent prayer. I asked Him to please show us mercy and hope in this very uncertain time. The sun was beaming on my face and as I felt the warmth it was as if God Himself reached down and held my face in His hands. In that moment I prayed for peace to come over me; that we would know that we would be able to adopt our daughter, the one thing I have waited all my life for. I told God that I understand that He is in control and to forgive me when I doubt His honorable intentions. I asked for comfort and a blessing or two for the next waiting families on the list to receive their referrals and things to progress, even if it was just little by little, here and there. Not much, just something to let me know that He is hearing the prayers of His children that are waiting on Him to light our path and show us that we are still on the right one. I thanked Him for my wonderful husband and for the blessings He has bestowed upon us and I told Him that I trusted Him to grant the desires of my heart.

Then I went on about my day, nothing special, not even really expecting an update that usually comes out on Thursdays. Just routinely did I decide to see what was going on in the email. And I have to say, when I saw "Vietnam Weekly Update" I was expecting no exceptional news. As this had beeen the trend for the last month. Nothing new or encouraging.
First our email from our coordinator started out with reminding us of what a truly wonderful weekend this was to be when we honor the One who died for us so many years ago to give us everlasting life. And then a very encouraging comforting message from the Vietnam director in which she stated that her prayer and belief in God is what gets her through difficult times.. that God has a bigger plan for us.. it is in His timing that everything will happen. And I love these words:"Please do not give up hope on your dreams for becoming parents or receiving this child that is meant for you." And then, guess what, there was one referral. And they are expecting an few more referral around the first of April! This is wonderful news!

My God is great and He often takes our faith and stretches it to the very limit He wants it to go. We are going to make it to our Kaylee. He hears our prayers. He WANTS to hear our prayers. No matter when, no matter what. Thank you, Lord for hearing my prayer. In You I will trust.
Hold my daughter's hand until it is time for us to meet. You are a God of wonders. You are the creator of life. You are the creator of families. I know the exact perfect child is waiting for us, now we have to wait on You.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Time to speak out!

Okay, everyone--- everyone waiting to travel, everyone waiting for referral, everyone who has brought their babies home, friends and family--- we need your help. It is time to speak up to our Senators and State representatives to let them know what is going on in Vietnam. Go here to this link and click on "how to help". Find your senator and state representative and send them a web letter or a mailed letter. There are letter samples you can simply download to microsoft word and send on its way. We need to make the government aware of our concerns and urge them to not penalize the waiting families or the babies while they determine a means of agreement. Maybe if our voices will be heard they will consider what it is doing to all the families and children and let things go back to the way they were when things were running smoothly.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Just for fun!

When faced with the most amazing chocolate bunny, what do you do first?

1. Go for the ears?

2. Take him by the feet?

3. Break him in half?

4. Eat his candy eyes and carrot first?

5. Break off his tail?

What is your pleasure?

White chocolate, dark chocolate, milk chocolate, belgian chocolate, hollow or solid, filled with carmel, peanut butter, fudge, or just plain nothing!
For me- I'm all about the ears, solid white chocolate with no filling, or only DOVE milk chocolate-- what heaven!

Happy Easter!

Rays of sunshine and words of hope

I am so blessed by all the families I have met through this adoption. When we started this process 27 months ago, it only occured to me that my life would be richer by this child that I was going to have the honor of parenting. I had absolutely no idea what lied ahead with the many network of families that would be my strong hold and encouragement. I mean, here you are talking to people you have NEVER even met before and you care for them like you have been friends forever. I have been honored with friendships in every stage of the process. Those who have completed their adoptions and share their precious treasures with me by pictures, email, or videos or blog posts. There are those who are farther away from the referral process that look to me for encouragement, (wow, what an honor, because I think they have awesome patience and trust), there are those families who are exactly in the same position we are looking for a referral anyday who understands my thoughts and can complete my sentences of concerns before I can, there are those who have received their referrals and are patiently waiting to travel and share with us their anticipation of excitement in being able to travel to receive these wonderful gifts of God.
I have a wonderful social worker who has never made us feel like we had to be anything but ourselves and has taken a genuine interest in our life and the life of our daughter. I consider her my friend. We have a great consultant from our branch office that takes the time to answer all my concerns and always has wonderful words of encouragement for me amidst my tears. We have a great agency that is doing all they can to keep us apprised of all that is going on in Vietnam and what we need to do and encourage us far beyond what is expected of them.
It really truly amazes me that this time last year I was thinking I was the only one going through the wait for this child and then I get inspired to start a journal on Journey to Me, and my life has since been enriched with a network of people who know exactly what I am feeling and thinking and that is SO refreshing when even my family and close friends can never really know what we are going through. If I had never taken that step to start my journal, my life would not be rich today with the blessings of my adoption friends.I thank God everyday for the wonderful friendships He has brought to me. I am meeting new friends every day and God is continuing to bless me with these wonderful people.

This quote was given to me and I wanted to share it with all of you:
"In whatever (God) does in the course of our lives, He gives us, through the experience, some power to help others."
So, everyday God can do something that changes our lives and through that experience, no matter how small or large, He has given us some power to help others. Whatever we are going through, it is for His purpose alone, that somewhere someone needs to lean on us for some advice, help or hope and because we have gone through that valley, we can encourage them. God has given me peace on this journey. I know we are going to get Kaylee, it is just not going to be as soon as we thought. But I am willing to wait the amount of days, hours, minutes, and seconds til the time is right for us to meet this amazing little life that I will call my daughter.
Thank you for all your words of encouragement in our time of waiting and I know that one day soon we will be celebrating the new life that God will reveal to us and I will be honored to share her with all of you.

Monday, March 17, 2008

In times like these

I have mixed emotions with this post today. Our agency does a fabulous job keeping us informed of all key matters in this Vietnam process. I have hope that we will get our referral, but probably later than I expected. There is just alot of issues the US and Vietnam have to work out. I am holding on the promises that God has made me through His Word. He wants to provide homes for His orphans and He wants to grant the desires of our hearts. I just don't believe my God would bring us this far, this many months of waiting and countless hours of crying for my baby girl for it not to come to pass. He is a just God and He takes care of His children. I know there are a lot of families close to referral as are we, and there are a lot of families for whom the road is going to be very long and I know that once I see my child's face, it will be a dream come true.

My prayer tonight is that God will give us peace in these trying times. There is so much we don't know that we have to trust Him to know what is best for us. He is the Almighty.

Dear Father above. You know where our minds and hearts are tonight with all this uncertainty. You know that there are a lot of first time mommies and daddies that already love these little babies from Vietnam that we don't even know yet. You are in control, Lord. We trust you with all our hearts. Please give us hope for a future with our children. We love them so much already. You are a God of wonders and You are holy and just. We praise you with all our hearts. We have been called to bring these little orphans home, please send peace to our hearts in this present time. We are your children. Thank you for loving us. Amen.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Word of God, Speak

I trusted in, relied on and was confident in You, O Lord; I said "You are my God".
My times are in Your hands. Blessed be the Lord, for He has shown me His marvelous loving favor when I was beset in a besieged city. Be strong and let your heart take courage,
All you who wait for, hope for, and expect from the Lord.
Psalm 31: 14, 21, 24

Thursday, March 13, 2008

What was I saying about those valleys?

My heart is heavy today. No new referrals, again. I simply cannot believe that God would lead us down this road, and be so close , and then leave us in the wind. That is NOT my God. I know that Vietnam is the only option for us, and without this adoption I may never be a mommy. My head is swimming with what ifs, my mind is telling me to be patient and trust God, my heart is already in love with this little baby. All of you in the Vietnam program are aware of the concerns right now and we have to just pray that God will work a miracle for our babies to come home. My heart really goes out to all the families that are waiting to do their dossiers. The road is going to be long. My road has been long. We started this process 25 months ago, and now have been on the waiting list for 19 months. But I do hold on the words of a new friend that told me she waited 30 months for her sweet daughter, and had she not waited that exact amount of days, she would not know her precious daughter.

There are 7 families though, that will be traveling to pick up their treasures next week. I simply rejoice with them that their dreams are being realized. Please say a prayer for all the waiting families to have strength and courage through this time.

Oh, God, You are the Most High. You hold every star in place. I know that You are holding the hearts of all the adoptive families in Your hand tonight. Please bring us peace, Lord, that our beautiful blessings are waiting for us, You have just chosen to slow down things right now. I know that You are in control, but, Lord, we are all weak and we need strength to endure this trying time. Please, Lord, show us Your mercy. Keep our babies safe and healthy until they are revealed to us. Thank you for Your mercies and Your grace. We love you. Amen

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

If God Brings you to it, He will bring you through it

I honestly believe this statement. A lot of us Vietnam families have concerns right now with the upcoming renewal of the agreement between Vietnam and the United States. I have great faith that our agency is doing everything they can to make sure we are complying with all the regulations. I praise our agency for keeping us all informed of what is going on. God has led a lot of us on this Vietnam journey and He will be with us right to the end. He doesn't start you down a path and leave you there. He is all knowing and He will often test our faith in Him to bring us through all the valleys until we reach the mountain top. He is awesome. It is He himself that says to not worry about anything. Why would the very hands that feed the smallest sparrow or provide rain for the tiniest flower not provide for the needs of His children, the orphans and the parents who want to adopt them. God is bigger than any problem we can ever encounter. In a single breath He sends the snow, and in a single gesture of His hand He calms the most raging storm. God is in control. He will bring it all to pass.

For this , I am grateful. For this, I get on my knees a pray to the One who hold the universe in place. "Please bring my baby home. Please bring Miya home, please bring Marlee home, please bring little John home, please bring baby Addison home, please bring baby H.C. home, please bring Malagan home, please bring Kenleigh home, please bring the babies home to the Hagertys, the Carleys, the Ortizes, the Thomases, the Presseys, the Savells and the DeHavens, and please complete the journeys for Sam and Eli, for Lila and Darby, for Ella, River and Eli and please bring all the orphans to their homes. Thank you, Lord, for bringing home Caroline, Elia, LuLu , Ben, Lucy, Katie, Lottie and Emma Jane and all the other precious children you have blessed other adoptive families with. You are my God and You can move mountains. All You ask is for my faith to be just a big as a mustard seed and You will do great things. Thank you for what You are about to do in our family and all the other families waiting for children. Amen "
He hears my prayer. He will answer in His time.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Just about sums up adoption

Happiness is the intoxication produced by a moment of poise (the referral) between a satisfactory past (not having Kaylee) and an immediate future rich with promise ( the awesome privilege of raising her)

A little on the brighter side

Well, guys, I awoke to much better spirits this morning. I am more at peace now. I know, as a lot of you have encouraged me, that our particular waiting period is because our Kaylee is our Kaylee and we can't have her any sooner than we are supposed to. I hope we do receive even just one referral this week because at least it would feel like that SOMETHING was happening in the adoption world. I know there is a lot of concern out there right now about Vietnam adoptions and some agencies not practicing ethically. However, I feel that our agency has always been on the up and up and we are in great hands. Now, just bring on that referral and the referrals of all my waiting friends and we will be one happy bunch of PAPs! RIGHT?

I cheered myself up this weekend by ordering a hairbow holder from MarleeBelleDesigns at the Etsy shop. I can't wait to receive it! I also went over to a friend's house and got some really precious gently used clothes for Kaylee that she was putting in a church clothing sale. I will post pictures later. Hopefully we will receive great news this week regarding referrals!

Friday, March 7, 2008

Does anyone have a Kleenex and a couch?

I simply cannot hold back the tears today. I want so badly to meet my little girl. I know it maybe unfair to make that statement because so many of you still have a long wait, and I know some of you are probably thinking that we have waited this long, why is it so hard now. I really don't know except when something is just out of your reach, if you just had a little boost you could reach it, and you don't get that boost, it is so absolutely frustrating. I am sorry for being so blue and I am usually so positive with my faith in God to bring us full circle in our journey. My heart just aches sooo much for this little tiny person to finally call my own. I mean, she will be my absolute wish come true. She may be my only chance at motherhood and I so want to just hold her and love her. Every day I think "If Kaylee was here we would be ......" and I want her so much. I am very weak today. I don't mean to bring anyone down, and I am usually a very positive person, I just needed to let it out. Does anyone have a Kleenex and a couch?* sniff, sniff

Even in the valleys

"Even in the valleys, God is good. Even in the valleys, He's faithful and true. " So hard to hold onto sometimes. This is a definite valley. Three weeks and no referrals. I am feeling a little blue. I know in my heart that we are not far from our referral, but when you go weeks with no progress it can really get you down. You know, I guess I shouldn't let it consume me so much, but I love this little girl so much and my heart aches wanting to know who she is. The good news of the week is that five families received travel approvals. I think that is totally awesome! It is just so hard to be so faithful when it feels like nothing is happening. Maybe there will be more referrals soon.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

A Definite Roller Coaster Ride

You know, in my perception this adoption journey is very much like a roller coaster ride. There are days of definite highs and days of definite lows. There are days that I think about all the good things to come and definitely how far we have come on this ride. And then there are days that I tend to dwell on how far we have to go and sad in what is seeming like forever to meet our little girl. It is great therapy for me to share in the lives of other Vietnam and Chinese beauties that have been united with their families. These babies are the most beautiful things I have ever seen. To see their smiles, their pigtails, or their latest antics, this is good for me. I hope someday soon, our little Kaylee will do the same to future PAPs on the road to adoption. I was reading through my JTM journal and I want to share another of my favorite entries. It was written on one of those definite low days when I felt like nothing was happening. What I need to realize is God is working to bring Kaylee home and when the most perfect child for us has been chosen by Him for us, it will finally be our day.

Original post date on JTM 8/20/07-Truly I Have Spoken

"Truly I have spoken, truly I will bring it to pass. I have planned it. I will surely do it. Isaiah 46:11. How wise is our Sovereign Lord. In the midst of doubt He will speak to you. In this time of waiting I wonder is God hearing my prayer. I get on my knees and plead with the Almighty Father to reveal to us the daughter He has for us.

And then, He speaks to me, plain and simple, firm and true.

"Melanie, I have planned this adoption journey. I have spoken to your hearts and lead you in this direction. I will bring it to pass, with faith from you that I can. I promise you that I will grant you the desires of your heart. I love you and Dwayne. I knew Kaylee before I formed her in the womb and you have prayed for this child and I will surely do it. Do not be anxious in this time. Pray for Kaylee without ceasing. I will raise the valleys and lower the mountains for you when it is time. Believe in Me to take care of you. I alone stretched out the heavens, my own hand formed the earth, surely I will take care of you. I teach you what is best for you and I direct you in the way you should go. Fix your eyes on me and I will give you refuge. I will protect your heart. I will give you the strength to endure what is before you. You have asked and you shall receive."

Thank you Lord, for the blessing of this adoption. You know the exact precise moment in which our daughter will be revealed to us. You are the giver of life. Thank you for loving us with all our imperfections and for forgiving us when we fail you. As you have placed each star in the sky and given each one a name, so shall you place Kaylee in our arms and give her a forever family. You breathe life into every living being and every living being has a planned destiny by Your divine appointing. I know that you will give us our Kaylee, I do trust You to bring her to us, because I know you provide for the smallest living creature- Why would I doubt that you will provide for us. Thank you for your graciousness. You are my Savior. You are my King. You have blessed me beyond measure and I know Kaylee will be the most beautiful prize at the end of the journey. Although I often wonder why we wait, it is Your plan for us to wait. You are all-knowing and faith in You will lead us down the road to our Kaylee. Please touch her heart wherever she is and let her know that she is not an orphan, for she is our chosen child. Your blessings overflow my life. You are glorious and marvelous. Amen

Monday, March 3, 2008

100 Things I want to do with Kaylee

This was an original post on the Journey to Me journal. I have had so many responses to it, I was asked to share it on this blog. The original posts were done in four parts, but here is all 100.

1. Rock her to sleep. 2. Go to the zoo and meet the polar bears. 3. Bake cutout cookies for every holiday and decorate them with icing and sprinkles 4. Go to Build a Bear and actually look like I belong there! 5. Go to Chik-fil-a and watch her play in the play area 6. Teach her how to play the piano 7. Share with her about the love of God. 8. Dress her 5 times a day (there are plenty of clothes for that!) 9. Go to Walt Disney movies at the theatre 10. Sit for hours and color in coloring books 11. Go to the park and play with the dogs 12. Finally go to a mother-daughter tea as a mother. 13. Start new Christmas traditions 14. Go see Santa at the mall 15. Go see the Easter Bunny at the mall 16. Sit and read story books 17. Sing her lullabies 18. Sit outside and play on the blanket 19. Have a picnic in the living room for lunch 20. Buy Father's Day cards and presents for her Daddy 21. Fill up the bathtub with bubbles and watch her play 22. Painting pumpkins at Halloween together 23. Showing her how to lick the cake beaters 24. Go to McDonald's and actually order a Happy Meal 25. Pick out the perfect Halloween for Grandma to make 26. Make homemade pizza with all our favorite toppings 27. Sing songs together 28. Make play dough masterpieces 29. Have tea parties 30. Make Mickey Mouse pancakes 31. Play Candyland and Memory 32. Go to the mall and finally push a stroller 33. Exchange priceless stories about MY daughter 34. Fold tiny clothes 35. Finally get to check on my daughter in the nursery at church 36. Buy baby food and toddler snacks 37. Wash beautiful black hair 38. Give kisses to my very own baby 39. Make presents for her daddy 40. Fill up a stocking with "Kaylee" on it 41. Clean the crumbs out of the back seat 42. Wipe runny noses and dry tiny tears 43. Finally have a child to take to all the kid birthday parties I am invited to. 44. Make birthday cakes and plan birthday parties 45. Share our adoption story 46. Buy a play house 47. Sit and stare at her most beautiful face 48. Go to Baskin Robbins and eat blue icecream 49. Teach her about Noah, Creation, and Jonah and the Whale 50. Watch her as she sleeps in her crib and get on my knees and thank God about for the most wonderful gift. 51. Watch her put her first tooth under her pillow and then see the smile on her face when she wakes up 52. Sit for hours and blow bubbles and drive the dogs crazy 53. Read the same book for the 100th time and still enjoy it like the first time 54. get really dirty 55. Roast marshmellows and force Daddy to eat one (he doesn't like them !) 56. Watch her scream at a spider one day and hand me a bug the next day (thanks, Jan, for that one!) 57. Snuggle with her after she crawls out of her bed and into our bed. 58. Teach her how to tie her shoes (no velcro please!) 59. Chase her from the bathtub as she runs naked and free giggling and squealing with delight as i call her back to the bathtub! 60. Watch her as she tries to glue everything in the house to construction paper 61. Watch her try to ride the goats (the goats are not here any longer, but I am sure she will try to ride something with four legs) 62.Watch a Pooh Bear movies on a blustery night sipping hot chocolate when she has a cold (thanks, Jan, again!) 63. Watch her walk around the house in my size 10 shoes or daddy's size 12 boots! 64. Watch MY daughter sing her heart out in the children's program 65. Make cupcakes to take to her class party 66. Watch her attempt to wrap presents and play in all the ribbons and bows to just wrap herself. 67. See her smile when she first wakes up 68. Watch her ride with daddy on his BIG Kubota tractor. 69. Make snow angels 70. Listen to her babble in the monitor 71. Hear the word "Momma" and know that it means me! 72. Mail Kaylee's picture in the holiday greeting card 73. Catch lightning bugs and keep them in a jar. 74. Hear her squeal when she catches her very first fish in the pond with Daddy. 75. Exchange kisses and hugs every night at bedtime ( I just can't wait for that one) 76. Lay in the backyard on a blanket and watch the clouds go by. 77. Lay on the blanket at night and count the stars 78. Take her to Incredible Pizza 79. Ride in the Tahoe and sing " You are my sunshine" at the top of our lungs 80. Make the most incredible ice cream sundae to share with a mountain of whipped topping 81. Take her to Target and shop (mommy's favorite store) 82. Take her to the mall to ride the carousel 83. Comfort her after a bad dream. 84. Take her to get her nails done (and toenails!) 85. Drive her around to see all the Christmas lights 86. Watch her eyes light up the first time she sees fireworks 87. Put out marshmellows for Santa's reindeer. 88. Mail a letter to Santa 89. Display her latest artistic masterpiece 90. Pat her sweet little bottom to sleep 91 Watch her dress herself for the first time 92. Dress her in her dance costume for her first recital 93. Show her how to plant a flower 94. Pick out Valentines 95. Lay in the bed and have a long conversation 96. Peel the apple so she will eat it 97. Have a movie marathon, complete with popcorn and Dr. Pepper, with "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, "Charlotte's Web", "The Wizard of Oz", and "The Grinch". 98. Watch "Rudolph", "Frosty", "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", " A Year without a Santa Claus", and "Jack Frost" while decorating the Christmas Tree. 99. Make homemade Christmas Ornaments. 100. Love her and hold her and tell that she is my sugar pie honeybunch, pumpy, upmy , umpkin, she's my sweetie pie, she's my cuppie cake gumdrop, snookem, snookem, snort, the apple of my eye!

This is the end of the first 100 , but it is so addicting, I am sure we will have a second 100 things.. sequel coming soon!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

What is it like to be a mommy?

I have asked myself this question many times. It is often something one takes for granted. When you have tried for so long to accomplish the one thing in your life you just know you are cut out for and then one road block after another puts you 14 years down the road asking the same question. I wonder what it is like to have my own baby to hold whenever I want, instead of "borrowing" someones else's baby for a short time. I wonder what it is like to hear the word "Mommy" and have my heart simply melt into a puddle of mush. What is it like to reach into a crib and see the face of an angel? What does it feel like to teach your daughter about why birds sing and why the sun shines? I wonder what it will be like to hold my own child's hand and know it is forever. I wonder what it is like to get that kiss goodnight. I wonder what it is like to have soulful eyes look deep into yours and trust you will all her might. What will my heart feel the first time I see her face? How much will it hurt to have to punish her for something she did wrong? How will it feel the first time she tells me that she learned about Jesus? How will I know how to be a good mommy to her? What is it like to have your own child? All I do know is that I simply cannot wait to hold this child and tell her how much I love her and that this love is for keeps and I will never let go. I do know that I will fall on my knees before God the Father and thank Him for His perfect plan for my life to adopt Kaylee and thank Him for the awesome privilege to be called Kaylee's Mommy.

Who are you? who, who, who, who

Ya know, like that song on CSI? As I have seen on other blog sites, leave me a comment and let me know who you are. If you are a PAP or an AP I would love to add you to my sidebar. It really keeps me inspired to read other blogs and I would love to see who is reading mine. The weather is simply beautiful today - 78 degrees- but they are forcasting SNOW for Tues and 29 degrees; What is up with that? I see that Baby Ella has made herself known. Congratulations to Jenna and Ed and their beautiful baby. Take a peek, she is precious.