Saturday, July 19, 2008

This was posted today .

This was posted today on the Department of State's website and also on the JCICS website:

Prospective adoptive parents and adoption service providers should be aware that the Vietnamese Department of International Adoptions (DIA) suspended the acceptance of new adoption dossiers on July 1, 2008. The DIA will continue to process cases received prior to July 1, 2008. The bilateral adoption agreement, required by Vietnamese law to authorize adoptions between the United States and Vietnam, expires on September 1, 2008. Prospective adoptive parents who have been matched with a child (received a formal referral) by September 1 will be allowed to process their adoption to conclusion. Dossiers that have not received a referral by September 1 will be closed and returned to the adoption service provider. According to the DIA, a referral occurs when DIA sends a letter to prospective adoptive parents informing them that both DIA and provincial authorities have agreed to the match of a specific child. Any case where this letter has been sent to the prospective adoptive parents (PAPs) before September 1 will be considered as having a referral and will be processed to completion. DIA has reported that there are more than 1,700 applications pending as of July 1, 2008. According to DIA estimates and prior adoption trends, it is likely that referrals will be completed before September 1 for approximately 50 percent of these applications. The U.S. Embassy in Hanoi, Vietnam, will process to conclusion all adoptions that meet the Government of Vietnam’s criteria and deadlines. The United States is strongly committed to processing legitimate intercountry adoptions from Vietnam. We have indicated to the Vietnamese our interest in negotiating a new agreement. An important goal for the United States is that any new agreement must establish enforceable safeguards and a transparent process which ensures that the children and families involved in the adoption process are protected from exploitation. The Government of Vietnam shares this concern. Both countries acknowledge that more needs to be done to address deficiencies in the current system. It is not possible, at this time, to predict when a new bilateral adoption agreement may be negotiated and signed.

So, what does this mean for us? Unlikely that we will get our referral. I just don't see our agency getting nine baby girl referrals in six weeks. My heart is breaking. I have been crying my eyes out since I read our agency's update that basically said the same thing. I don't know where to begin or end. This information is going to have to sink in and I have decided it is time to speak directly with our agency's Vietnam director. We have been one of those quiet families, rolling with the flow, but I think it is time to try to get some answers, to try to find out where she thinks our case stands. My heart is just grieving right now because I have prayed and imagined and dreamed this child being from Vietnam. God is drawing me to Him in my desperation. We only have one other avenue. After we see where we are by this time next month it will be time to make some decisions because this heart needs some closure. Hanging in the balance of uncertainty is taking a toll on me. I am exhausted and emotionally drained through all of this. I need to renew my strength and faith. Where is my daughter? What path is He leading us down> It is so hard to stay focused on God being in control. I know there are other families going through the same thing we are: the uncertainty, the questions with no answers. I am sorry there are no encouraging word today in this post. Everything we have worked for the past month just seems to have been for nothing. When I find my peace again for the 100th time, I will share it with you.
I need to spend some time with God instead of this blog and find out what direction we are to go.

25 comments:

Hiking Mama said...

Oh Melanie, my heart is breaking. I just read the update and immediately came here to your blog. I don't even have words. I don't know what to say. You have been a constant source of encouragement and love to me during my difficult time and now I don't think I could even begin to repay that encouragement the way you need right now. Just rest in Him right now. I am here if you need me.

Major Mom said...

I am so sorry, I totally understand your heartbreak. When we thought our daughter was in Haiti and actually had our referral and then things ended up not working out I was devastated. God gave us that baby to be prayer warriors for for the rest of her and our lives, but not to raise. It is so hard, and always will be. Our daughter turned out to be from Ethiopia. You will find her, just keep searching.

Beth said...

Melanie, Since the first time I read your blog you have been in my thoughts and prayers. I know this has been a struggle and the waiting and not knowing is SO hard on a person. I'm proud of you for the strength you have had through this and even more proud that in the midst of this probable bad news, you still recognize that God is in control. I continue to pray for you and Kaylee, wherever she may be.

Kelly said...

Lucy and I are sending big hugs your way and praying for your peace. I hope you get some answers soon and feel at peace with your decision of where to go from here.

Kelli said...

Oh Melanie, I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. I hope you get some answers soon and find peace with those answers. Praying for you and sending you big hugs. Kaylee is out there and WILL come home. I just know He will help you find her.

Kathy Irwin said...

Melanie -- We are in the same boat. Our agency told us this week that we are NOT matched & will not be getting a referral. After a good cry, the LORD has given me a peace. My little girl is not in VN like I thought...I just need to find her. I will pray that we will both follow the LORD's lead with nonstop faith. The LORD sees the whole picture -- he doesn't see the "deadend" that we do, He just sees the bend in the road and the strength that we gain from enduring it. Hang in there my friend, you know the LORD is still in control. Praying for you.
Kathy

LISA said...

Melanie,
I am so sorry you are having to go through this.Sometimes what we think God lead us to,is only a new road, curving a different way.
{{HUG}}

Anonymous said...

Melanie,
After reading the updates from CHI I came straight here to check on you. I'm just in tears for all of us right now. Please know I'm praying for you. You will find Kaylee. God is so great and he knows our deepest hearts desire. He will bring us to our children-in His time.
with love,
jennifer p.

Anonymous said...

have you considered switching to a boy????

Anonymous said...

Oh, Melanie. I'm so sad for you and Dwayne. Even in your pain, you are an encouragement to all of us because of your faithfulness. Few could feel God as you do in such a desperate place. Although I'm struggling with prayer right now, I'll lift up your family to receive comfort, peace, clarity, and direction. We're all here for you when you need us, but you're right to turn your face to Him first.

Lisa said...

Keep faith Melanie. Remember that God has already made the plans for each of us before we are even born and that he knows already where your baby is and will get her to you in his own time.
You may be surprised to find that her skin is brown, or that she is already 3 years old, or that she is actually a he, or maybe living on your very street! The children that we prayed for for so long were actually already known to us. We were in the midst of fertility treatment when God moved the heart of the custodial family to ask us if we would like to adopt first the boy, then the girl two years later. I am sure that God laughed at the surprise on our faces when the offers were made.
Just be patient, keep faith, and keep an open mind. Opportunities present themselves from the most unusual circumstances at times - and it is always God's hand at work!

His Peace be with you,
Lisa

R&H said...

You never know what may happen but do know that every single thing that happens is leading you right to your daughter. You are on the path you are supposed to be on, even though it feels like a dead end it isn't- it's the road to your daughter...keep on following through all the twists and turns and bumps because when you get to the end of the road it will be beautiful. Trust me. Just wait and see.

dwayne and melanie said...

To annonymous- whoever you are-
I have addressed that issue before. I do not feel like getting into this right now, especially with someone who will not identify themselves. I shouldn't have to justify my feelings to anyone.

JaneMM said...

My prayers are with you.

Dawn said...

Melanie - My thoughts and prayers are with you both and all my former CHI VN family. My heart is breaking for everyone involved; it is just so hard to understand why this is happening.

Ann said...

This is not the end for you, This has to work out for you and Dwayne. We learned about seeds planted in us by God today in church, you have seeds also, growing to place you into this crazy path of adoption, your a strong person, this will work out for you.

Anonymous said...

Melanie, I know things look terrible right now but I really believe that Kaylee is out there waiting for you! Keep your heart and mind open and let God lead you to her. Our God is awesome and he will give you the desires of your heart. Just Believe!

Stacy said...

Melanie,
My heart is breaking right along with yours. I wish I could come through this computer and give you a great big hug and a shoulder to cry on. I don't know what will happen in the land of Vietnam or international adoption as it seems on such shaky ground, but I do know that God is with you and that you will eventually see sweet Kaylee's face. You ARE her mommy Melanie and God will bring you to her at exactly the right time although I know when your heart is breaking it probably doesn't feel like that. You are in my prayers and thoughts. Sending sweet thoughts and many hugs your way!!
Blessings,
Stacy

Sherri said...

I wish I was there to give you a hug! If you need someone to talk to, pray with, cry with or whatever let me know. Grace and I will be there in a heartbeat.

Anonymous said...

Melanie,

I wish I could say something that would ease your pain, but I really do not know what to say. I wish you could get a referral and get Kaylee. My heart aches for you. God will lead you in the direction you need to go. I know it is not always easy. Like you, I want a child so bad. I understand how you feel. Maybe not in the same way because I have not started the process, but I know it has to be so hard to wait all this time. Keep the faith and I know you will get your Kaylee. I will keep you in my prayers.

Regina Norvell

Tammy said...

I am so sorry. We are in the same boat. We will not recieve a referral in time for the deadline. We are researching other programs and think we have chosen a new one. Nothing is ever done in waste.....God has something in mind. All I know is that in my lifetime, God has ALWAYS blessed me and my husband BEYOND anything I have ever could have imagined. Sometimes it takes more time than I thought....sometimes it ends up taking a WAY different path than I anticipated...but I have always looked back and come to the realization that I have been soooo blessed.
I will be in prayer for all of us that God will strengthen us and lead us to the child meant for each one of us.
-Tammy

Robin said...

Melanie,
My heart is breaking for you and your husband...There is no words to make you feel better. I can only say a pray for you in hopes that this gets resolved and Kaylee comes home very soon.
(((((((hugs)))))))((((((prayers)))))
Robin and Miss Kailee
In Iowa

The Ben Show said...

Just saw your post on Yahoo... (((hugs))) I said a prayer for you last night and I will again tonight.

Anonymous said...

Hi Melanie, I "lurk" every once in awhile, hoping to see you get a referral. We have been waiting for a child from Vietnam, but there is no chance for it working out for us. I know how you feel - we have also struggled with infertility (lost our only pregnancy after several IVF treatments) and now this. To just keep getting knocked down is so hard. But, I guess all we can do is to handle every stumble grace, and persevere!!! We WILL find our children, we just have to stay strong and never stop believing!
All the best,
Sarah

Living to Love said...

Melanie, I came straight here after getting back from vacation and seeing the update from Ellie and Nicky. I am so so sorry. My prayer is that the Lord will bless you guys with a child! It sure has been a long time coming :o) I know there is probably not many words that can soothe you at this time. Just contine to seek HIS face in all of this.